


My Mind is Playing Tricks

by ChampionFlyer



Series: Head Sick [3]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gay Keith (Voltron), Heavy Angst, Keith (Voltron) Has Anxiety, Keith (Voltron) is a Dork, Keith (Voltron) is a Good Boyfriend, Keith is ready to propose, Keith/Lance (Voltron) Angst, Keith/Lance- Established Relationship, Lance (Voltron) Angst, Lance (Voltron) Has Issues, Lance (Voltron) is a Dork, Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, Lance (Voltron)-centric, Lance has schizophrenia, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mental Institutions, Sick Character, Sick Lance (Voltron), Vomit?, lance is trying his best
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-03
Updated: 2019-11-03
Packaged: 2021-01-21 13:14:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21300032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChampionFlyer/pseuds/ChampionFlyer
Summary: Three more months until Lance is finally discharged from the hospital.That gives Keith three months to prepare for his boyfriend's return home...And pick out an engagement ring.
Relationships: Keith/Lance (Voltron)
Series: Head Sick [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1377496
Comments: 9
Kudos: 151





	My Mind is Playing Tricks

**Author's Note:**

> Fuck me.

_ Three more months.  _

Three more months until Lance is finally discharged from the hospital. Three more months until he would step foot back inside their home for the first time in several months. Three more months for Keith to pick out an engagement ring  _ and  _ get rid of the piles of clothing he’d let stock up on the living room floor. 

_ Three.  _

_ More.  _

_ Months.  _

Shiro had delivered the news earlier that day during a conversational therapy, subtly hinting at it until Lance finally understood. Keith had known for four days prior but the way Lance’s eyes lit up made the news feel fresh and exciting again.

“I get to go home,” Lance had whispered through his fit of happy tears. “I get to  _ go  _ home! Keith, I get to go home with you!” 

It was safe to say neither of them could keep their eyes dry that evening, both too excited by the announcement to do anything but kiss and cry and cuddle. Everything was as it should be. 

Lance had fallen asleep in Keith’s embrace that night, smiling in his sleep as Keith stared at the ceiling. Thoughts were racing around Keith’s mind like the Grand Prix, nearly colliding with one another as they gained speed. They were good thoughts this time. 

Happy thoughts. 

“Hey,” Keith glanced down at a sleep-soggy Lance curled into his side, two brilliant blue orbs piercing his heart. “Why’re you still awake? Cuddle me like a real man.”

“I thought you were asleep?” Keith asked, smirking at the happily-pissed off look on Lance’s face as he adjusted his body to cradle Lance’s. The long hospital gown scrunched as Keith pulled his lover closer until there was no space left between them. 

Everything as it should be. 

“Was asleep, now I’m not.” 

“Is this another ploy to try and get me to make out with you at 12:45 at night?”

Lance chuckled into the fold of Keith’s neck. “Nooo… I just wanted you to sleep with me for a little. You know, how we’re gonna sleep knowing in three months I’ll get to sleep next to you in  _ our  _ bed.” 

Keith made an exaggerated gagging noise. “Ewe… you have a crush on me!”

Lance smiled ear to ear. “You’re acting like a five-year-old child.”

“Aren’t you supposed to have cooties or something?”

Lance laughed, his sweet-sounding voice echoing in the emptiness of the hospital room. He looked up into Keith’s amethyst eyes that reflected his own. He couldn’t stop the fulfilling happiness swelling in his chest. 

“Oh marry me, Kogane.”

Keith felt his brain stop while his heartbeat rapidly in his chest, thoughts now racing around his head. 

_ Marry me, Kogane.  _

_ Marry me, Keith.  _

_ Marry him, Keith.  _

Keith’s thoughts were briefly interrupted by a soft snore from the brunette peacefully sleeping beside him. The look of rest was a natural fit on Lance’s face. Keith’s faced the ceiling to resume his thoughts but found there was nothing left to think about. He had made his decision. 

He’d left the hospital around one-thirty in the morning, stopped to get energy drinks and bread at the local gas station, and raced home at incalculable speeds. Keith swung open his car door and stumbled up the newly paved driveway, balancing cans of Redbull and whole wheat bread in his hands. Fumbling with his keys until the lock finally clicked, Keith stepped through the door into his homely life whilst stumbling over a box inconveniently placed by the door. 

_ “Shit!”  _ Keith yelped as he regained his balance, picking up the bread that had fallen out of his arm. He quickly dumped the contents on the counter and cracked open his energy drink. He could practically hear Shiro’s lecture that was sure to come after he composed his plan to his brother. 

_ “I’m going to marry him,”  _ Keith thought.  _ “I’m going to marry him and we’re going to move out of this shitty house and get closer to the town. We’re gonna have kids and a dog and it’s not going to be easy.” _

In a series of movements, Keith grabbed his laptop from the counter, accidentally pulling the charger out with it. He trudged into the living room where the lamp had been left on since the last time he’d been home and his coffee mug was still on the coster by the window. He flopped down on the creaky couch and pushed open his computer. 

The soft blue light bounced off Keith’s electric eyes as his fingers flew across the keyboard, quickly typing in his password and waiting for his home screen to appear. He felt unstoppable, whether that be from the caffeine or the excitement flowing through his veins, he didn’t care. He was going to marry his boyfriend and finding the perfect ring was his first priority. He didn’t want to worry about the stress of planning a wedding yet. He just wanted to assure Lance his love for him was everlasting. 

As soon as the desktop screen appeared, Keith was immediately at the search engine, typing away into various sources. Over the course of an hour, he had almost twelve tabs open, each displaying possibilities for a local visit. Keith managed to narrow it down to three places,  _ Balmara Jewelers and Goldsmiths, Arusian Engagement, and Olkari Custom Jewelry,  _ all of which were well within a days trip. 

_ _ Keith was ready. He’s  _ been  _ ready. 

Things won’t be easy, but they will be so worth it in the end. 

* * *

_ “Shiro, it’s getting so much worse,” Keith said over the phone. “He’s freaking out. He won’t let me help him. He doesn’t trust me anymore.” _

_ He couldn’t help him anymore. Keith felt so lost, so hurt. He felt like Lance was being torn away from him one bit at a time. Every episode, a piece of him was gone. Every night spent awake, fearing the inevitable, a piece of him was gone. Every meal he refused to eat, a piece of him was gone.  _

_ He was going too fast. Falling apart before Keith’s eyes.  _

_ “He’s confused, Keith. He doesn’t understand reality when he’s in that state. When he gets confused, he’s afraid.” _

_ Keith took a shaky breath in. He could feel tears crowding his vision. “What is he afraid of though? He won’t tell me because he doesn’t know! Do you understand how terrifying this is, Shiro?” _

_ Keith’s voice cracked and a few stray tears escaped his eyes. Shiro didn’t talk for a while, figuring Keith needed the silence. He didn’t know what to make of the situation either.  _

_ “You have an appointment on Monday, right?” Shiro asked.  _

_ “Yeah.” _

_ “Good. That’s great,” Shiro said, keeping his voice from wavering. “I know Lance as I know you, Keith. I understand how difficult it is to see him in pain. Do you think you can handle keeping him safe until Monday?” _

_ Keith nodded, telling Shiro that he would do everything he could to keep Lance calm until Monday came. They exchanged few words after that, saying their goodbyes as Keith hung up the phone. Keith tried to convince himself that there was no emotion but faith in his head.  _

_ But that was so far from true.  _

_ The sound of bare feet slapping against the master bedroom had Keith yanked from his thoughts. He cautiously walked around the island table and approached the hallway where he heard Lance running. When he heard panicked breaths and whimpers coming from their hallway bathroom Keith sped up his pace. _

_ “Lance?” Keith was halfway to the bathroom when he heard a choked gag coming from the bathroom.  _

_ Shit.  _

_ Keith ran into the bathroom, his heart literally shattering at the sight of his boyfriend. Lance was shoving his fingers in his mouth in a desperate attempt to make himself sick. Tears streamed down his cheeks as he sobbed and gagged, shaking with fear and confusion rattling his bones.  _

_ Keith knew better than to try and pry his hands away from his mouth in violent, forceful action. Instead, he knelt beside Lance and tried talking him out of his panic. Shiro had recommended communication as a vital piece to soothing Lance in times like this.  _

_ Lance couldn’t focus on anything else but getting himself sick, forcing his fingers to the back of his throat. He couldn’t hear Keith calling his name or asking him to stop. He couldn’t feel the comforting hand on his back or the gentle tug on his forearm. He could only feel the poison working its way into his bloodstream. He needed to get it out. All of it.  _

_ In one swift motion, Lance shoved his fingertips to the back of his throat where they jabbed harshly at his gag reflex. His stomach lurched and he brought up a stream of sick into the porcelain bowl below him. He breathed in and prepared himself for another wave of heaves, but they never came.  _

_ He couldn’t focus. He stared into the toilet, his eyes trained on the small bit of food that he’d managed to bring up.  _

_ “That can’t be it,” Lance thought. “There’s more. I have to get it out!” _

_ Plunging his hands back into his throat had proven to be a mistake as someone tore them away from his lips.  _

_ “Lance, baby please don’t do this,” Keith pleaded, desperation thickening his voice. “Why are you making yourself sick like this-”. _

_ “It’s poisoned, Keith!” Lance sobbed, attempting to twist his hands out of Keith’s hold. “Please! I have to get it out, I’ll- I'll die if I don’t. They want me dead, Keith! You could be poisoned too!” _

_ Lance was hysterical. He sobbed so hard he choked on his own air, which resulted in dry heaving onto the floor. Keith kept a firm grasp on his hands, no matter how many times Lance tried to thrust away from him. He kept screaming and crying out for help and Keith couldn’t do a damn thing about it.  _

_ He never felt more useless in his life.  _

_ Keith’s eyes grew blurry and he could barely see past his tears. “Lance? Deep breathes, please. You’ll hurt yourself if you don’t.”  _

_ “I- I can’t! I can’t do it.”  _

_ The panic gripped him in an iron fist, filling his lungs with firey, shortcoming breaths and plaguing his mind with fear. Lance pulled harder against Keith’s restraint, eventually resorting to kicking and yelling to try and get away.  _

_ “Why was he doing this?” Lance thought to himself, failing to hear entirely what Keith had just said. “Why won’t he let me go?”  _

_ Lance felt fear prick upon his skin as he pulled with all his strength to break free. Keith felt his own grip weaken and in an instant, Lance flung himself backward, knocking his head against the porcelain tub. He couldn’t hear anything besides his own cries and the ringing in his ears. He couldn’t see past the blockade of tears coating his eyes. He sat up quickly and curled himself into a fetal position on the bathroom floor.  _

_ He sobbed into his knees, pain and confusion nipping at his mind.  _

_ Lance suddenly felt a cold, wet fabric press against the back of his head. He flinched into the wall. His head really hurt.  _

_ “-ance, please come bac-”  _

_ Keith?  _

_ Keith.  _

_ Oh god, Keith.  _

_ Lance peered through his tear-soaked lashes, confusion clouding his head once more. His head hurt but he felt calm once more, almost like his panic had been coming off in waves. What was happening?  _

_ He glanced up at Keith, who was perched on his hind and holding something against his head. Something wet and cold. And he was crying. Why was Keith crying?  _

_ Anxiety welled up in Lance like a balloon. “What’s going on?”  _

_ Keith cupped his cheek, rubbing away excess tears and checking his forehead. Keith was exhausted. He always looked exhausted these days. He looked tired and worried and overall just not good. He can’t remember when he last looked relaxed. It made a knot of guilt whither in his chest. How could he have missed Keith’s obviously decaying state? _

_ His head hurts.  _

_ “Lance?” Ouch. Volume hurts. “Are you with me?” _

_ The brunette stared at the fingernail indents on his elbows, feeling relieved he hadn’t drawn any blood. His wrists hurt for some reason like he had been hanging from a pull-up bar for too long. His mouth tasted like bile and his stomach was twisted in all different ways.  _

_ His head really hurt.  _

_ Lance inhaled deeply and exhaled even deeper. He felt confused, but the panic had subsided.  _

_ “What’s happening to me?” Lance asked, watching as Keith’s face crumbled into ruins. Ruins of tears and shaky breaths and pent up sobs and overall fear. “Keith?” _

_ “I don’t know, I don’t know anymore, Lance. We’ll figure it out, baby. I promise,” Keith rambled on, pressing kisses on his forehead, but never fully stopped crying. Neither of them did. Keith’s hand never left the back of Lance’s head where he had been holding a damp piece of fabric against his locks of hair.  _

_ “Just trust me, okay? Everything will be alright.” _

_ Lance nodded, then grimaced. Aching pain in the back of his forehead weighed on his mind. “Is my head okay?” _

_ It seemed like a childish way to ask, but all the dread and terror from his episode seemed to dull the light of reality. Every time it happened, Lance still had no clue what's going on. By the time he comes out of it, he’s left distraught and covered in sweat. Often Lance awakes to find bloody scratches all along his arms and legs. Sometimes he’s covered in his own fluids and dehydrated and so confused. Each time, he comes out to see his boyfriend’s distressed eyes and feels internally ashamed.  _

_ And he doesn’t even know why. _

_ Lance felt the cloth disappear from the back of his head, then the cold, drenched feeling was back momentarily.  _

_ “It’s bleeding a little but nothing severe. Do you remember how you hit your head?” _

_ Lance thought and thought but he couldn’t remember. “No, no I don’t remember. What happened?” _

_ Keith relayed the events for Lance but then quickly assured him everything would be okay. It sounded fake and forced, nothing like he’d ever heard come from Keith’s voice. His stomach was in knots and his head was on fire.  _

_ Everything was not fine.  _

* * *

The bell attached to the door  _ dinged  _ as Keith pushed through the glass doors of  _ Balmara Jewelers and Goldsmiths _ , his fingers brushing lightly over the decals. The scent of polish and expensive metals filled the air around him, his eyes latching onto a familiar face. 

“Shay!” Keith exclaimed, watching as the tall, brunette woman spun around and practically lept to envelope him in a warm hug. 

“Keith! It’s been too long since I’ve seen you,” she said, pulling back from the hug. Her eyes shifted from surprise to a mix of sympathy. Keith already knew her next question. “How’s Lance doing?”

Keith was about to tell her the same thing he tells everyone when they ask about his boyfriend, but he couldn’t. Usually, he had to subtly hint to them that he’s either a) still in the hospital or b) doing better than before. However this time Keith had better news to share. Lots of good news. 

“Lance is doing great. In fact, he gets out in about three months,” Keith explained, watching as Shay’s eyes lit up with emotion. 

“That’s fantastic! Oh my god… wow. Like he’s actually coming home? He doesn’t have to be there anymore after that, right?”

Keith shrugged. “If things were to get worse, they’d probably take him back in for a while, but with the therapy and the medicine, he’s completely normal. He’s the exact same guy I fell for all those years ago.”

“That’s sweet Keith,” Shay teased. “So… what’re you doing here?”

Keith’s eyes flickered towards the ground, his arm extended to scratch his neck nervously. He bit his lip, another anxious habit he had picked up a while ago. “I’m actually here to pick out a ring.”

“Oh, like a promise ring or…”

“An engagement ring,” Keith mumbled, a soft smile appearing on his face. “I’m going to ask Lance to be my fiance.”

_ Things won’t be easy, but they will be so worth it in the end.  _

**Author's Note:**

> No excuse. This is late. Happy fucking Halloween. 
> 
> (I moved into a new apartment and didn't have much time to do shit)  
(Enjoy this part to the Head Sick series)  
(leave kudos and comments)  
(love yinz)


End file.
